Tuesday, 28 May 2013

So Where Shall I Take You First?

I could tell you how much I enjoyed those 10 wonderful weeks off between finishing my course and starting my job, but to be honest so much has happened since then I barely remember what I did!

Cleaned things, sorted things, grew my nails and painted them, chilled out a lot!

Spent lots of time with blokey - but more of that later.

I'll start with my new Job - which soon turned out to be an awful time

Monday 1st October 2012 - for a week of mandatory training (which was tediously boring to be honest, but hey if the trust want to pay me to sit in a room then so be it!)

But then on Thursday 4th October, I received a text message at work from my Dads partner 'Dad very ill in hospital, not looking good'

Nothing else, and the only response to my text is to tell me where he is. Of course I left work and went straight to Princess Alexander Hospital to see him - she left as soon as I arrived - so I was still non the wiser.

He was in the acute admissions unit when I arrived, but was transferred a few hours later to a respiratory care ward, as his main issue seemed to be his COPD at this point. Once he was settled I headed home.
I went directly to visit him the next day, he was not in a good way. his respiration was so fast it was uncountable, his pulse was around 180 bpm, his BP through his boots and it seemed he was having multiple cardiac arrests. I was advised to phone his partner, and when she arrived the Doctor gave us 'this is the end' talk.

That day was the day of my long awaited graduation ball, with my lovely friend Vicki coming to be my date. My perfect, shoes and bag bought.  The room booked.  Everything planned and looked forward to.

And now Dad is gravely ill in hospital, on 3 hourly morphine, unconscious, not expected to last the night.

Then his partner said to go, it made sense. If he was going that night, me being there wouldn't change it. And so a dash back home to grab my stuff and rush to the hotel.  A hurried get ready - not the luxurious use of the spa facilities we had planned. My darling Vicki stuck to water all night, so if I did get the call she could drive me straight there.

It was not the evening I expected to have, I didn't really have much fun.  I wanted to spend more time talking to the wonderful students I had worked so hard with, but my mind was elsewhere and I sent most the evening close to tears.

I am upsetting myself now typing this.  I shouldn't have gone. I should have sat with Dad. But we make the choices we do at the time because we feel they are right.

That's all I can blog for tonight, its really quite emotionally draining dragging this back up again.

I will continue the tale though, very soon.

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