I didn't realise you were still there, waiting for me to write more crap!
The last post was sad, it was a sad event. But hey I am superhuman right? Picked myself up, brushed myself down - yadayadayada.
But its true you just go on fighting, moving forward, wading through the shit
YES I am still trying to write my dissertation
YES I am still dreading my next placement
YES I am still doing too much for my Dad
YES I am still struggling to be an adequate Mum
YES I am still alone
But its my shit and I am dealing with it, in my own perpetually confused way!
MY Dissertation is nearly finished
MY next placement is only 6 shifts
MY Dad assures me he will be dead soon (cheers Dad)
MY kids think I am an OK Mum, mostly
I am alone - but not lonely
Because if this taught me one thing, it taught me that I can be wanted, and desired. and I can choose to run with that, or I can choose to be alone and enjoy my own company and that of my friends.
Or I can choose to do both - because I can date, without committing my life to a man, I can have a bit of a flirt and enjoy myself without introducing him to my kids! Who knows, maybe one day one of these flirts or fun dates will become something, but for now I am on my own, not alone and I am doing O.K with it
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